Veil of Tears

The end of February approaches. In this, my first month of business, if that computer repair job scheduled for this Monday does not fall through, I will have made a little over $200. How do we do it? Volume!

In my research business, I have sent out nine personally composed and signed sales letters, and received only one client. Another potential client actually bothered to write me back, to tell me the check would be in the mail - that was two weeks ago.

So, in my ninth sales pitch I added a lower-service, lower-price option (in addition to my higher service offer). Maybe I'll get lucky, and these leads will start turning to conversions at the lower rate. In any case we're applying for food stamps in March.

At 3:00 a.m. today, came a roar from down the hallway that woke me out of a dead sleep. We live in a mobile home, which some may think of as living in a hallway, but I'd never heard our home make a sound like this. Actually our home is gorgeous (inside), it's a 1969 Windsor and they don't build them as nicely anymore. But the blower fan on our oil furnace was now rattling and shrieking. Also I found the foam air filter (a big sheet, like one used for an air conditioner) had broken down into pieces, allowing house dust to travel directly through the blower.

I wanted us to be able to sleep, so I set up an oil heater in the bedroom. I did not want the pipes beneath the home to freeze, so I crossed the snow, unlocked our shed, and retrieved our kerosene heater and extra fuel.

I was hoping to replace the blower fan myself, but I needed free technical advice. I know I can get this advice for free, because I was employed as a computer repair technician for the past nine years, and I remember how people got free advice from me. At 9:00 a.m. I called a mom & pop plumbing & heating company, whose phone was answered by the owner. I described the symptoms and he said my problem was either the blower motor, or the "squirrel cage". I thanked him, and at this point he probably knew he'd been had.

I was ready to buy the parts myself, I figured I should get both items, because I had no idea how to troubleshoot a blower assembly. After all, how much could it cost for both? 200 dollars? I began a chain of calls to area heating equipment suppliers trying to find one that sold parts for my out-of-production Miller oil furnace. I got lucky on the fourth call, when the parts person asked for the width and diameter of the fan itself. I would have to disassemble the blower from the furnace.

Another trip across snow to the shed to get a screwdriver and a pair of pliers. 10 minutes later the blower was free and I was getting ready to measure the fan.

That's when I found a large chunk of filter foam lodged between the fan blades. That was the only thing wrong with the blower. I removed the foam, reassembled the blower and tested it. All the furnace needed was a new foam filter. Cost: 97 cents at Home Depot. Cost of gas for the round trip to Home Depot: 2 dollars.

Gravity Boots

Generating about 2 leads a week now. But my 1997-style sales letter is simply not pulling the 80% conversion (a conversion is "closing the sale") that it did in 1997. I would estimate current conversion at a disappointing 15%. My niche is now a bit crowded. What else should I expect from the internet? It rapidly adapts to consumer demand. Competition increases to the point that everyone is making peanuts and the only companies that survive are those with the economy of scale, which can survive on peanuts.

Without that economy of scale it is impossible for me to imitate my more successful competitors. At the most basic level, though I can design a website from scratch using only Notepad, I am only one man. I don't have the skilled staff to design graphics, let alone Java and CGI applets, nor the sales force to farm out banner advertising.

I must define what my best competitors are NOT offering and concentrate my development there. And I already know the answer. The heavy hitters do not offer local research services, as I do. They offer only "canned" national research. The busy season is spring, which is fast approaching, and like it or not, I am forced at this time to overhaul my pitch in a major way. I must make my sales pitch shout "local service" as well as "personal service". This means a re-write of my website copy.

Not today, though. Today I must travel 60 miles to increase my income by $70. This is another of my "irons in the fire". I will fulfill an independent contract for computer repair services. I have considered PPC (Pay Per Click) advertising for this venture as well, it seems that several search engines are now offering "local" directories of businesses, but right now my "ad money" is tied up in the research service venture. Maybe after the busy season I will switch the "ad money" to my computer service venture.

The High Cost of Living

PPC, or Pay-Per-Click, is the new way to get your website listed near the top of Search Engine results in only a matter of days.

The secret of the Internet Revolution is that advertising is so damn cheap, and PPC is no exception. You don't pay for how many times your ad appears, only for each "click through", that is, each time a person clicks on your ad and arrives at your web page.

Today the number one search engine is Google, used by 75% of people searching the internet. Google's PPC advertising program is called AdWords.I opened my own AdWords account two weeks ago. Since then, my advertisement has appeared about 1,400 times near the top of Google search results. My click-through rate is pretty good, a little less than 2%, which means in this time period I've paid for 26 people to visit my website. AdWords also tells me that of these 26 people, more than 1/3 of them were "converted", which means they sent me their e-mail address, so I could reply with my sales pitch. My total cost for advertising was $11.00. My "cost per conversion" was $1.19, which means I paid only $1.19 for each customer who sent me their e-mail address.

How much did it cost me to open an AdWords account with Google? Only $5.00, and I am not required to spend a minumum amount per month on advertising.

A couple days ago I opened a second PPC advertising account with Google's competitor, and the second biggest supplier of PPC advertising on the web, which is called Overture. (Overture is a Yahoo company). They haven't started showing my ad yet, but I can give you some idea of how this system differs from Google.

Overture requires a monthly "minumum spend" of $20.00. There is no charge for opening an account,but they do require you to start with a $30.00 deposit. At this time they are offering a nicecredit to new customers which in effect makes your first two advertising months "free". However up to this point I have not been able to find a trace of this "credit" online at Overture. This is just the first of three complaints about Overture, a service I will have to use in addition to Google, in order to sustain my web traffic using PPC.

Google will review your ad copy to ensure it conforms to good taste, but they allow you to post your ad immediately. Overture makes you wait "three business days" (it took them 4 and 1/2 in my case) until one of their reps can review the demeanor of your ad.

Google makes it easy to run classical "split" tests on your advertisement. The "split test" is where, for example, you run two ads with the same text, but a different headline, to see which headline pulls in more responses. Then you get rid of the bum headline, because that is the one costing you money.

Overture only lets you submit one ad, and it better be a good one! Fortunately I knew which headline was best from my Google responses.

The one good thing about Overture is their more liberal ad display policies. They allow you a headline twice the length that Google permits. And they permit ad text three times the length allowed by Google. Additionally, Overture ads look more like real search engine results, appearing at the very top of the results page. Google ads look like they are commercially sponsored, appearing on the right hand side of the "real" Google search results.

It's not like the good old days (1995 to 1998) when you could tweak the keywords on your web page and appear in the top ten search results of your favorite engine. Today, if you want to be at the top of Yahoo or Google, you'll have to pay per click. But considering the paltry cost, the guarantee of your ad appearing for free hundreds of times, and with the efficiency of paying only for visitors to your web page, maybe the PPC model is better.

Wake Up Call

I admit I have been drinking heavily every night
for five days. But this morning I am cooking hot dogs
in the last of my beer. Specifically, Oscar Mayer
"Louis Rich" Cheese Turkey Franks. For buns I'm
using potato bread. If I want my own business, I have
to do it sober.

I was just under a bit of pressure quitting my 9 to 5
job this past week. Last night I had an alcohol-
induced nightmare that I was still working for
Heinrich. In my dream Heinrich said I did not have
the authority to lick a postage stamp. Nor does
anyone else who works for him. That's a bit like it
actually was. Time to go on the wagon.

This morning I feel optimistic again. I feel like
starting half a dozen different businesses. This may
be the secret of success - keep a lot of irons in the
fire, and (mixed metaphor) one of them will hit the
jackpot. I will emulate the early immigrant who
came to America with twelve cents in his pocket,
and learned to build ... what? An empire seems
too big, a "going concern" too piddly. Sure, the
economy sucks right now, while the Republicans tell
you it smells like roses, so the rich can get fat at the
expense of a nation. But some people made
fortunes even during the Great Depression.

I started research for my first (and only) client
yesterday and it felt sooooo good.

Exit Strategy

Consult list (do I have everything that belongs to me from my place of work).
Cancel video club membership.
Buy a gallon of skim milk.
Fill the car with gas.
Cancel Dish Network television.
Write six upbeat sales letters to prospective clients.
Put five items on eBay.
Print out a hard copy of my service website.
Inform SSI of change in income.
Apply for food stamps.
Visit food pantry.

Living Off the Fat of the Land

Mine is the "two-step" selling model. My website prompts the customer to submit their mailing address. Then I send my personally signed sales letter. Thanks to PPC (Pay Per Click) I've received four inquiries, in only three days. That was a week ago. Since then, no more inquiries. Only crickets chirp.

This morning my wife and I were talking about how long we could live on only the food in our cupboards. Fortunately I'm a hoarder. Dee says we have enough pasta for six months, but we may run out of spaghetti sauce, and start using ketchup instead. I estimate the food will last three months.

We decided to keep stocked on a couple staples. Canned spaghetti sauce, and block cheddar.

In my market I know that spring is the busy season. Until then, I may have to get busy with eBay.

Today's rocket radio link: http://www.eit.bj/golfefm.htm

Bon Voyage

Two days away from quitting my day job, I've already started two PPC (Pay Per Click) advertising campaigns, the AdWords program with Google and "self-serve Precision/Content match" with Overture. I write my own copy. I write everything starting with the HTML. I use Notepad. I'm good. I choose my own keywords! I've received my first check from a client, so it's time to quit.

&

I'm only 45 years old but it's time for me to "retire". My day job dropped medical benefits more than three years ago. The job market for "computer guy" is real tight in this upstate New York metro area. But I don't want another job. If I am going to be able to support myself and my wife in retirement, I better start learning now. The state of future "Social Security" earnings doesn't look so good under the current presidential administration. Paradoxically, this is a great four year period to start one's own business (no internet taxes yet).

&

Heinrich (my boss) does not know I'm about to quit. Two days from now in the morning (the end of our two week pay period), I will give my eight hours notice. In Heinrich's defense I must say that he has been a good boss for the last 8 years, except for the coolie wages. And I am a computer genius.

&

On Friday I will be self-employed.

&

Today's rocket radio link: http://www.11l-rni.com/